What is the gift you are gifted with you feel to give forward?
Get inspired! Blog by Stephanie Wijte on discovering your Gift, -your Purpose, Passion & Play-, in life.
Amsterdam, 22 januari 2019.
I am the painter
allowed to paint
in anger and despair
awe and wonder
to the fire of the unknown
a perfect harmony can be seen
in the tiranny of the unseen
I am telling stories
forever bringing home
the storyteller’s love.
Amsterdam, 5 januari 2019.
Your heart knows
What if you wouldn’t listen to your thoughts?
And instead would listen to your heart?
That silent space beyond stories of right and wrong. Catching you when you fall. Holding you regardless.
And use thoughts, words, images, to give expression to your passion, fueled by the fire inside this heart?
You often intuitively sense a wrongness towards that what you perceive. Things happening in the world, your own doing, not doing, or lacking. What if there’s a truth to this, and you can trust this emotion that asks to be gently held, and for your light to shine? Can you let go of what you think it is? A conditioned minds story of shame, guilt, incapability, inadequacy; fear. Wrong, and you carry the weight of the responsibility to make it right. Is this true?
What if this sense of wrongness is actually the inspiration, the fire within that’s guiding you, having you move in way that is more aligned with your heart, with the truth of you? Instead of the truth of others, and the world, that you perceive.
What if this fire, burning, raging, is your passion, your purpose, just longing to be lived? Compassionately, yet fiercely, the fire burns your fingers, so you might let go of the edge of reason; your argument, your judgment, in the way of freedom. The freedom to be. The freedom to love.
What if this attraction of attention is a flow that desires to be allowed, to be seen, instead of being denied? By denying, you cut off your own passion, your own fire, your own breathe, your own love. You cut off your own lifeforce. No wonder you can feel like your dying, when just not listening to the sincerity of your heart.
You often have the tendency to fall into ego’s trap, believing you are the one causing the wrongness. That you are the one being wrong, inadequate, just not enough, incapable, and that you have to compensate for this lack and deficiency that you think to see.
Can you be still for a moment… What does this sense of wrongness wants to tell you beyond what you might think to be going wrong? When you don’t believe in minds commentary, could it be a message from your heart? From your own love that desires to flow, naturally and fearlessly, and wants to be met?
What if nothing goes wrong, and you don’t have to make it right, but you only have to see it is right already? What if this sense of wrongness, this pain, just sincerely wants to catch your attention so you can see your perception, your story of right and wrong, and hold it into the light? What if it just wants to make you stop believing in this wrongness, this story of you doing it wrong, this incompletion not really there, and show you your immense capacity to hold everything in love?
What if it is your heart that invites you to be still and listen? So you can clarify, get honest with yourself, forgive, see your wholeness, and release yourself into the sacred fire of this moment, while you passionately write the lovestory you’re supposed to write. Not knowing it’s unfolding, but meeting yourself, in love & truth, in the fire of your own existence.
Your heart knows. All is well. Let it love.
Amsterdam, 19 december 2018:
What is the gift you are gifted with?
What is the gift you are gifted with? And how do you share it? Give back? What if you would be open to give as well as to receive, without expectations? Giving with faith and trust in the circle of giving, in that it comes back, as you have seen it always has and does. Somehow, some way; you are taken care of. You are supported.
Receiving what? How? That’s a gift too. Can I appreciate what I get? What I have? Right now. Instead of saying/ pre-meditating; I need 100 euro in return for giving away my gift, and I only will give if I get, what I think I need.
Realizing I am gifted, without having to deserve it, earn it, without the gift actually being personal, being mine, would I keep it for myself? Or share it? Give it away? Pay it forward? Would I ask: How may I serve this what is given, this heart of ours, this life, this universe, by allowing the circle of giving and being gifted(receiving)?
Being a conditioned human being, living in a conditioned society, that’s (although shifting) rather rooted in the mistakenly believed perception of seperation and scarcity, than in the recognition of wholeness, freedom and abundance, we are inevitably exposed to the pain of trying to get and keep to have our imiginairy needs met, the pain of protecting and controlling what isn’t even real, the pain of holding on to this illusion of personal wants and needs.
This pain, perfectly placed (gifted!), is our invitation to wake up, to release this self-imposed conditions into the freedom of all that is unconditionally given and moving without any boundaries, and to transform it into faith and trust in the generosity of the universe; seeing it does take care, support, it always has and always will be, in mysterious ways.
The universe is generous. If we really take this in… How generous do we become? How humble? Willing? Fearless? To see how held we are… do I really want to keep these realized gifts – my passion for my purpose – for myself? Collect them? Protect them? Withold them?Like they can safe me? And when I do, do I actually experience them as gifts? Or do they become burdens, ideas perpetuating scarcity, using it to build a wall, because I perceive I might lose something if I give? To identify with this gifts, I might even believe that I lose myself, my worth and value, and I can be rejected when I give and let myself be seen.
OR… is my most sincere desire to pay it forward? To share what isn’t even mine, rather ours? Common? To gift what is gifted, and give back (forward)?
What happens if we remain open, giving attention to a readiness and willingness to clarify what it is we are serving? Letting go of what we think we know, and innocently so hold onto and hide behind, protecting this imaginairy story of ourselves. And allow life to continue being life, to expand, and bloom. Through us. Within us. Can we embrace a change that’s ungoing, and see that change is not happening to us, but for us?
I see it is not about the fixed interpretation of what my purpose, “my gift”, is that I’m gifted with, and what and how I can give forward. But rather about allowing, and not denying, because I fear somehow it could go wrong, whatever I feel is sincere to share, to allow, to touch with my attention. Without attachment to the interpretation of the limitate mind, of whatever and however that gift, that purpose, might look like. This is where we can play, and shine in a way that feels sincere. If we realize it is one flow happening, all gifted, there is no you and me, no yours or mine. That we are the painter and the painting. If it doesn’t matter what the How looks like, not being attached to the limited confined perceptions of the mind; how would I share? How would I paint? And allow myself to play, and shine, in a way that makes sense to my heart?
Do you remember what was your favourite thing to play with when you were a child? Wasn’t it your imagination? Your fantasy? Going off to worlds, completely unknown, just dreaming. Imagining all sorts of wonderous things, creatures, and places. So much fun. All these possibilities, beyond what you knew! Later to be disturbed by grown ups, and getting confused with life’s purpose: what reality are you serious people talking about?! You were not interested in seriousness, you just wanted to play. Pure, innocent and full of appreciation for the big adventure of life. You were in awe and wonder. Till… they learned you to cope with “reality” and to stop playing…
Remember. Discover. And again; play! See love through the eyes of the love that you are. For the sake of serving, and honoring all that is given and received; the generosity of the universe.
To give and receive, non-serious, but sincere, without expectations. Just embracing and allowing the change that happens for us… Is this our perceivable everyday challenge? Our struggle? In my experience, from the slightest to the greatest; pain comes to visit everyday. The pain of resistance to certain unpreferable circumstances, the pain of self-denial, the pain of denying this gift, the pain of taking things personal, protecting and witholding freedom and love, the pain of the restriction for life to be life… All just asking for sincere attention.
I see in my experience that I can’t/don’t always (right away) release my perceived self-imposed limitations, let go of my doubts and imaginairy protectionmechanisms, and hold on, judge.. like I consciously or unconsciously decide it’s too scary to do so in that moment. Though I am willing to hold space for what is presented, to be gentle with what I see in myself and when I see and listen to others, and appreciate what is given, to envoke a sense of readiness and trust to remain open and let go of what I think I need. And let life support me. Take me… In ways I don’t know, and can’t expect, but isn’t this where the magic happens?! When the journey of being human becomes the adventure you couldn’t possible imagine and hope for?
My purpose? Non-attached, (and I’ll know when I do); to hold space for the discovery of purpose, passion & play, for the unwrapping of gifts, and have them shine.
Your purpose? Perhaps the answer is what’s already there when you stop asking questions, be still, truly listen to the heart of life, and allow it to move you, to be of service.
Be still, listen, clarify, know, and let love… flow.